I couldn't get Silas off of my mind ever since the little encounter we had in the kitchen on Monday. I knew that it was so wrong because I had a boyfriend but Silas was constantly on my mind. This was a new feeling to me, never had I imagined another man touching me the way Silas did that day. All that belonged to Michael but I had managed to allow another man come and interfere with all his assets. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help but like the thrill feeling I had that day, knowing that Michael was only seconds away and I was allowing another man to touch me in a way that only Michael had touched me. I knew I still loved Michael - of course I did, he was my world but Michael being my first and the only man to ever touch me in that kind of way. I couldn't contain the adrenaline that ran through my body when Silas's fingers went exploring.
Even now as I walked to the local corner shop, Silas had once again occupied my thoughts. If I was counting the amount of time I had thought of him, I'm sure I would of lost count by now.
I mentally cursed to myself noticing a handful of boys stood outside the corner shop. This was one thing I hated about Tottenham, every time I would go to the corner store or the take away it was guaranteed that outside would be occupied with teenaged boys. If I didn't think that they had already acknowledged my presence I would of turned back and went right back home.
"Ay. Let me talk to you quickly." I heard someone shout, I hurried into the shop not wanting to engage in a conversation with any more males. I was already feeling guilty about allowing Silas to touch me inappropriately.
I quickly grabbed everything that I needed and made my way to the cashier. I stood silently, as the Indian man scanned all my items before placing them in a blue plastic carrier bag.
"That will be four pounds ten pence." I went to reach for a loose fiver that I had in my back pocket but stopped when I seen a arm reach out in front of me and placed a crisp twenty sheet on the counter. Without saying anything the cashier placed the note in the till.
I felt my stomach dip when my eyes met with Silas's. I could feel the palm of my hand started to become sweaty, I didn't know why I was feeling this way. Could it be because I have had him on my mind all week and now I was all of a sudden seeing him.
"Gimme ten pounds lyca too boss." His voice was so deep that it was scary but yet sexy at the same time.
"Thank you but you didn't have to." I mumbled out.
"Nor did you have to make me do a couple of things I did the other day." Instantly my cheeks heated up. If I was two shades later I would of been bright red. I looked towards the cashier who laughed lightly before handing Silas the change.
I didn't know whether I should of walked off or waited on him to receive his credit voucher.
"Where you heading now?" I looked up to make sure that it was me he was directing that question at.
His eyes scanned over my outfit before laughing to himself while shaking his head.
"Bless." He told the cashier as he took the voucher before walking off. "So you dressed up to come corner shop - you looking man or something?"
"No I had uni earlier." I informed him. "How can I look man when I have a boyfriend?"
He looked back at me with a smirk on his face, instantly I regretted those words leaving my mouth.
"You don't want me to answer that, do you?" He ask once we were outside the shop. Silas had a way of making you feel and look dumb. "I know you heard my bredin calling you before you went in the shop."
"I wasn't interested." I bit into my bottom lip.
"Not interested nah ?" He chuckles before eyeing me up and down once again. "Who you interested in then?"
He ran his tongue along his bottom lip. "Mmm - if you say so."
"What Silas this is you?" A coolie looking boy who was circling on his bike around us asked Silas.
Silas looked over at me before replying.
"I'm working on it."
I felt my stomach dip as his eyes didn't leave me, not once.
Zoraya you love Michael.
"Come, let me drop you home." He nods his head over his shoulder before walking off and like a lost puppy I followed right behind him. Even though I lived less than ten minutes away I didn't decline that offer, well more of a demand.
"How comes you moved in with Ashleigh?" We have been driving for exactly two minutes now and that was the first time a word had been exchanged between both of us.
"My parents passed." I replied honestly while intertwining my fingers with one another.
The car fell silent after that.
"Why did you touch me like that?" I ask.
"Why did you allow me to touch you like that?" He ask. When I didn't reply, he took a quick glance over at me. "Huh?"
"You can't go around touching people like that." I mumbled ignoring his question.
"I don't." He replies. "Only to you." He finished off.
The rest of the car journey was driven in silence, the only that could be heard was an old song by Skepta Rescue Me. I squinted my eyes trying to make out the manly figure that was stood outside the house. I felt myself becoming uneasy the closer we got allowing me to get a better view of the person.
I could see their eyes scanning inside of the car as Silas pulled up right outside the gate. I watched as his bows furrowed together as he watch the person watch him.
"Thanks for the ride." I say, ready to jump out the car but stopped when I heard him laugh. "What's so funny?" I ask facing him.
"Thanks for the ride." He mimics me in a high pitch voice causing a small smile to tug at my lips. "You just speak different to the point it's funny."
"See you around." I heard him say just before I closed the car door. Before I could get a word out Michael was all up in my fave throwing questions at me, demanding who was in the car.
"Michael can you stop being so loud?" I knew Silas hadn't driven off yet meaning he was sat watching this commotion.
Michael's throws his head back and laughed out sarcastically. "I just watch my girlfriend come out a next mans car all smiling and shit and you're telling me to be quiet. Zoraya are you cheating on me?"
I looked at him as if he was crazy.
"Can you hear yourself?" I ask. "That's ridiculous Michael."
"Who is he then?" I stayed silent. "I'll go ask him myself." I quickly grabbed hold of Michael's arm as he was walking off to Silas's car.
"Michael don't." I knew Michael was no match to Silas. Even if we weren't talking about a fist fight, Silas could make Michael missing for weeks or even dead if he wanted to. That was the type of power Silas held.
"Who is he then Zoraya!"
"I'm going to need you to stop talking to her like that." Silas says closing his car door. Michael looked between both of us. "You good?" He directed the question at me and all I could do was nod, this caused Michael to laugh out.
"Who are you, why is my girlfriend coming out of your car?"
"Mind how you talking." Silas calmly replies.
"Michael don't." I warned him. "Just drop it."
"Listen to your little girlfriend before you end up getting yourself hurt for assuming shit."
"Are you threatening me?" Michael scolded at Silas.
"Do you want it to be a threat?" Silas challenges.
I swallowed the lump that was in my throat, using my left hand I pushed Michael in his chest gaining his attention.
"Michael please! Can we just go inside."
Michael took one last look at Silas and turned on his heel heading towards the house not before kissing his teeth. I looked at Silas who from the look of this looked like he was enjoying this, of course he was. He and I both knew Michael was far from a threat to him. Silas liked challenging people because he already knew the outcome which would be Silas one and none to them.
"Are you fucking crazy!" I yelled at Michael once we were locked away in my room.
Michael turned to face me. "Are you fucking crazy Zoraya?" He was now looking at me as if I had two heads.
"Do you know who that was?" I rolled my eyes. "Are you trying to get yourself killed on purpose?"
"I don't give a fuck about wh-"
"Silas." I said again slower.
I seen him take a big gulp. "How did you end up with one of the most dangerous man in London?"
"Him and Ashleigh are together." I explained. "I seen him at the shop and he offered to drop me back."
He didn't reply instead he just bit into his bottom lip.
"So when I tell you to calm down just listen please." I tell him kissing him on his lips. "I'm not ready to lose you as well."
He nods. "I'm sorry." He places a kiss on my forehead. "You know I get jealous over stupid things that doesn't need a reaction to."
"I know but I'm all yours." I reassured him. "No need to behave like that."
"You're all mines." He repeats.
It was the following day and I was walking around the area with Jada, who I had met at university. Jada didn't live too far from as she resides in Enfield, Ponders End, which wasn't too far from me. When I met Jada we instantly clicked even though, she was very similar to Ashleigh in a lot of ways. I found it weird that I didn't get along with Ashleigh but me and Jada did. Jada came from a Jamaican background also, whereas I was half Nigerian and half Jamaican.
I loved how carefree she was and didn't require others approval to do as she pleased. This was something that I envied about Jada - she lived her life for herself. Whereas, I felt like I had to try and make my parents proud regardless if they were not here.
"Ay- Jada!" We both heard causing us to turn our head in the direction that we heard her name being called. When Jada noticed a slim caramel skin tone boy walking towards us, she sucked her teeth however I still noticed the smile that crept on her lips. "You dissing man now, all acting brand new."
Jada playfully rolled her eyes as she playfully pushed him in his chest once he was directly facing us. "Kadeem I've been dissing you." She laughs.
He chuckles. "Long time I ain't seen you about, where you been?"
"I have a house unlike some."
Kadeem laughed along with her. "Say nothing Jada." He says, shaking his head. "You going to that party later?"
"Fucking Menace, that older from around here that rolls with Silas sometime."
"Sexy Silas?" Jada asks.
Kadeem screws up his face. "Moving like I'm into man."
"You know what I mean man!" Jada exclaims. "Swear I didn't hear about this. Where is it keeping to?"
"Libertine." He grins. "So you know it's a suave and sexy ting type of night."
"So fucking far man." She moans. "But it might have to be the motive man."
Kadeem eyes then flickered over onto me. "Who's this though?"
"My girl Zoraya but she ain't interested in you and your community piece." I laugh lightly. "So get stepping."
Kadeem laughs. "I see how you doing me Jada - I'll shout you later if anything. Ina bit."
I waited until he was a good distance away from us before asking who he was.
"A desperate ex." Came her reply. I nodded slowly. "I think we should go to the party."
"I don't mind, if you want to." I shrug. "Would be good to get out the house."
Jada grins. "That's my girl. I wanna get drunk so we might have to Uber it, that's good with you?"
"You're the driver." I say laughing lightly.
Jada also laughs. "I know but I like running things by my friends as well."
"If you want to drink let's just Uber it cause I'm not trying to die young."
"I'm soooo excited for tonight!" She exclaims. "I'll show you how us North lot party. You're going to love it man!"
Jada being excited for tonight made me even more excited knowing that there was a possible chance that Silas would be there.
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